Why Am I Turning Into My Dad?

(You and your kids aren't screwed yet, but you will be if you don't fix this. Read on...)

You told yourself you’d never be that guy.

The one who yells too much.

The one who’s always working or checked out.

The one who explodes over small things—or worse, stays silent, building walls instead of bridges.

Maybe you’re the dad who storms out of the room, or maybe you’re the one who stays in the room but isn’t really there. Either way, the result is the same—disconnection.

Your kids don’t know how to reach you anymore. You don’t even know how to reach yourself.

And if you're honest with yourself... you can feel it happening.

The blow-ups that come out of nowhere—or the deafening silence that fills the gaps.

The times you’ve seen the look on your kids’ faces—whether it’s fear from your temper or confusion from your distance.

Either way, you’re checking out, emotionally or physically, leaving them to figure it out on their own.

The missed dinners, the strained conversations with their mom, the constant feeling that something’s slipping away from you.

It’s like watching yourself turn into a stranger.

A version of yourself you swore you’d never become.

And then comes the guilt.

You lie awake at night wondering how you got here.

Why can’t you just be the dad you wanted to be?

You love your kids, so why does it feel so damn hard to connect with them?

This is how the cycle starts.

You watched your dad do it.

Maybe it was the yelling, the anger. Or maybe it was the silence, the emotional absence.

You swore you’d be different.

And yet, here you are, following in the same footsteps, watching it unfold again—just like it did for him.

You’re passing down the same emotional baggage that was handed to you.

And here’s the worst part:  

Your old man did the best that he could with the tools he had access to.

You have the opportunity to take it even further.

You can end the cycle of emotional disconnection, anger, and silence that’s been passed down from generation to generation.

You don’t have to repeat the same mistakes.

You can be the father who stops the pain in its tracks. The one who shows up with love, patience, and presence—not just when things are good, but when they’re hard.

Your kids don’t need you to be perfect. They don’t need grand gestures or impossible standards. They need you to be present. They need to know that you see them, hear them, and that you’re willing to do the work to connect with them, even when it’s uncomfortable.

This is your moment. The point where the chain of trauma stops. Where you decide that the story doesn’t have to end the way it started. You can rewrite it—for yourself and for your kids.

Think about what that means. You get to create a legacy of love, not pain. Your children will grow up knowing they’re enough, feeling secure in your love, and wanting to spend time with you because they feel safe with you—not because they have to.

You have that power. Right now. But it starts with you making the decision to do something different. To break the cycle.

And it starts now.